Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. What do you think of it? What else are you interested in? Let us know: email@example.com.
Looking at Trump’s Hiring Habits
On “The Late Show,” Stephen Colbert highlighted recent reports that Mar-a-Lago, President Trump’s golf resort in Florida, received government permission to hire 70 immigrant workers. Mr. Trump has criticized companies that don’t “hire American.”
“Mar-a-Lago has been granted what’s known as H2B visas, and to get them, Mar-a-Lago ‘had to show that no one else wanted the jobs,’ including ‘calling old employees and putting ads in the newspaper.’ They also posted the job online with You’re Going to Be Working for a Monster.com.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Obviously, the way the law is drawn up, they have incentive to make the jobs look bad to American workers. And they succeeded —because look at this actual listing in the Palm Beach Post that read, ‘3mos recent & verifiable exp in fine dining/country club… No tips,’ and instructed applicants to ‘Apply by fax.’ You might as well post, ‘Dead-end job, slave wages, must apply via telegram, high probability of meeting Donald Trump.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
Video by The Late Show With Stephen Colbert
On “Late Night,” Seth Meyers pointed out some questionable hiring practices within Mr. Trump’s administration — specifically in the Department of Agriculture. The Trump ally Sam Clovis recently withdrew from consideration for the job of chief scientist within the department — a job Mr. Trump had nominated him for — after he was linked to the Russia election-meddling scandal. Mr. Clovis is not in fact a scientist.
Video by Late Night With Seth Meyers
“Clovis is one example of what seems to be a pattern in the type of people Trump nominates and hires: The only qualification necessary is loyalty to Trump himself. And nowhere is that perhaps more blatantly obvious than at the U.S.D.A. According to reports, the Trump team has brought into the agency ‘a long-haul truck driver, a clerk at AT&T, a gas-company meter reader, a country-club cabana attendant, a Republican National Committee intern and the owner of a scented-candle company.’ That doesn’t sound like the leadership of a government agency, it sounds like the cast of ‘Survivor.’ Or like you’re assembling a team for a [expletive] bank heist. ‘Murph, you’re on candles. You, read the gas meter!’” — SETH MEYERS
Jon Stewart Gives Conan O’Brien the ‘N.Y.C. Citizenship Test’
Video by Team Coco
Conan O’Brien is filming his shows at the Apollo Theater in Harlem this week, and he’s trying to reclaim his former identity as a New Yorker. Jon Stewart showed up to keep him honest with a “citizenship test,” administered with some help from Andy Richter. Somehow, Mr. O’Brien passed with flying colors.
He turned the crowd against himself with this exchange:
JON STEWART: Where in New York City is the ball dropped every year?
CONAN O’BRIEN: Citi Field.
But won them back with this:
ANDY RICHTER: Name the very famous New York resident who won the 2016 presidential election.
CONAN O’BRIEN: Hillary Clinton.
ANDY RICHTER: Right.
The Punchiest Punchlines (Rand Paul Edition)
“That can’t be right. Rene Boucher attacked a U.S. senator over leaves? That would be like finding out that John Wilkes Booth shot Lincoln because he was sitting in his seat. ‘President Shmesident — I’m 12H! Bam! Yeah. Oh wait, I’m 10H. Oh, sorry, my bad.’” — TREVOR NOAH, reacting to reports that Senator Rand Paul’s next-door neighbor assaulted him over a landscaping dispute
“According to a CNN poll, President Trump’s approval rating has reached a new low of 36 percent. He’s so unpopular, pretty soon it’s just going to be ‘Fox & Friend.’” — SETH MEYERS
The Bits Worth Watching
Mr. Colbert imagined an address from a very offended Kim Jong-un, in which the North Korean leader wished Mr. Trump were visiting his country during his current tour of Asia.
Video by The Late Show With Stephen Colbert
Jimmy Kimmel heard that a new study suggests alcohol can help people speak foreign languages more easily. He wondered if marijuana might help, too.
Video by Jimmy Kimmel Live!
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
It’s going to be a Clinton-heavy Wednesday on late-night TV. Hillary Clinton will be on “Late Night” and former President Bill Clinton will appear on “Conan.”
Also, Check This Out
Credit Adrienne Grunwald for The New York Times
Here’s what’s on the shelves at the home of Richard Hell, groundbreaking punk rocker turned esteemed author.