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‘One Eye Patch Away From Being a Bond Villain’
Late-night hosts on Monday seized upon a bombshell story that they had been expecting, in some form or another, for weeks. The special counsel, Robert Mueller, announced charges against the former Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort and two other erstwhile members of President Trump’s team.
“It really doesn’t look good. Twelve counts, including ‘conspiracy against the United States.’ I don’t even know what that means, but it just sounds bad,” Trevor Noah said.
“So Paul Manafort has now been charged with lobbying for the government of Ukraine and not telling the U.S. government he did this. He’s also been charged with laundering tens of millions of dollars into secret foreign bank accounts in remote island nations around the world. Which basically makes Manafort one eye patch away from being a Bond villain.” — TREVOR NOAH
Video by The Daily Show With Trevor Noah
Stephen Colbert could hardly control his excitement.
“Now, I know it’s almost Halloween. But it really feels more like Christmas.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Manafort’s been charged with 12 counts, including conspiracy to launder money, tax fraud and conspiracy against the United States. What’s that crime usually called again? I can’t remember, for some treason.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
Video by The Late Show With Stephen Colbert
And Jimmy Fallon thinks we might start seeing a lot less of Mr. Trump’s children.
“Meanwhile, I saw that Donald Trump Jr. and his brother Eric are going to India to launch real estate projects for the Trump Organization. It’s all part of a new strategy called ‘fleeing the country.’” — JIMMY FALLON
Late Night Meets George Papadopoulos
Mr. Colbert zeroed in on the least well-known person to be implicated in the indictments: the former Trump adviser George Papadopoulos, who has already pleaded guilty and is reportedly cooperating with the investigation.
“The details of what Papadopoulos lied about are Papadopoudamning. While working to elect Donald Trump, he repeatedly tried to arrange a meeting between the Trump campaign and Russian government officials. You can’t do that! That’s Don Jr.’s job!” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“The F.B.I. would have issued an arrest warrant sooner, but they had a hard time spelling ‘Papadopoulos.’” — CONAN O’BRIEN
The Punchiest Punchlines (Singapore Edition)
Video by Late Night With Seth Meyers
“Why is the twist always that Kevin Spacey is the bad guy? And talk about the worst time to go public with your sexuality. I mean, it’s always good to live your truth, but don’t use it to get out of trouble. Like, imagine if a cop pulled him over. He’d be like, ‘Sir are you drunk? I need you to come out of the vehicle.’ ‘That’s not the only thing I’m willing to come out of!’” — TREVOR NOAH, on the fallout from a claim that Kevin Spacey made a sexual advance on a minor in the 1980s
“United Airlines launched the longest-ever flight by a U.S. airline on Friday, a 17:55 trip from Los Angeles to Singapore, narrowly beating out Spirit Airlines’ 17-hour flight from New York to Philly.” — SETH MEYERS
The Bits Worth Watching
“The Tonight Show” imagines Mr. Trump’s presidency as one long scary movie.
Video by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
Shaquille O’Neal sat in for Jimmy Kimmel on Monday. “Now that I’m a late-night host I came up with a new nickname for myself,” he said. “Arsenio Tall.”
Video by Jimmy Kimmel Live!
What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night
Chris Matthews, the host of MSNBC’s “Hardball,” will speak to Stephen Colbert on Tuesday.
Also, Check This Out
Credit Ture Lillegraven for The New York Times
Mark Hamill, who returns as Luke Skywalker in the new “Star Wars” film, “The Last Jedi,” is as much of an unapologetic geek at heart as any of his admirers.